11/6/14
The duality of self. The purpose-ness of pleasure. What do we gain by looking at ourselves between two realms, within one mirror? Who are we on either side and to what importance? Can my own sight of self and connection visually to the physical me be both distorted and cathartic at the same time? Can we shape-shift ourselves in body by communing through the window to our own soul? What is it inside us that sees ourselves as "other"? What is it between the mirrored plane that creates a projection, a hologram of the self? We are everywhere and nowhere all at once. We are sight. We are gone...we escape our reality through a lilting rendition of skin and bone. What is skin and bone but energy? Atoms are made of energy. Molecules are made of atoms, cells are made of molecules, and we are made of cellular data - which is unfixed. Which is permeable. Which is heightened, enlightened, expansive Self within a nothingness, a void that is holy.
I rest my soul, I put my soul to rest. I leave this life, I leave this world to find solace, to find completion which is no longer accessible from where I am. I am a phoenix, I will rise on the other side, beaming - a girl on fire. A harbinger has told me what cannot be, and I must follow my true self, for I am meant for joy! In the other side it is cold and flat to touch. From this other side, I see the pulse within your veins, within my softness there burns a glory.
TO DO/TO CONSIDER:
What is expected of me, and how far am I willing to go to stand up for myself? Is suicide the ultimate middle finger? The self-proclamation and freedom of the soul? Is it giving up? Is more to be gained by extraction of self? What does it meant to be living? What if we took it all away? What would be left? What if we imposed our own beliefs onto others and forced their hand - to lie to themselves about their own personal virtue? What if life is when we truly are asleep and we only wake up after death? What if I made a mound of cotton candy? Pink, and saccharine, and juvenile, but messy and easily destroyed -dissolvable. Does the candy represent the facade of Juliet? Or perhaps her truest self? So fragile to others. What happens to cotton candy when it gets wet...like the wicked witch, it melts.
The psyche vs. will vs. ego vs. true Self. What is fragile? Our connection is fragile, but undeniable - ever present yet breakable in a moment's notice. I am love. I am safe. I am powerful. I love myself. I love myself. myself. ...you too.
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