The Juliet Project: Journal Entry 1/15/15

So I went to class at Highways today for Collective Movement with Kevin Williamson. It was really great. It was very gooey and luscious work. He started as the classes I've taken at Pieter space do - in a circle saying our names, what we do, and what we have to offer. I feel very thankful for my time working through The Artist's Way I felt more capable of dancing for myself and not anybody else. It was great that Kevin also encouraged that mindset before we even began. I overheard him speaking to another dancer after class about wanting to know more about how to reach out into community. She said something that was nice, about how may instead of trying to figure out what works well in other locations it is really about taking a look at what works here in Los Angeles. I am interested in taking it a step further and finding out what is best for you or me as an individual. What is at the heart of why art is important? It changes from artist to artist and again from season to season within each of us. But what does community mean to you? To me, community is really intimate relationship with other people who I value and enjoy. I have been concentrating a lot on quality of work, which is admirable, and I don't want to give that up at least for my own artistic journey. But what about my community's artistic quality? How much do I are? Who do I choose to care about? and why?

I care about Alex, who has similar hang ups as me with judgement, but don't we all really? I don't know, maybe not everybody does...but it is abound in my circle of friends. I care about Alex because we meet eye to eye on integrity. We often meet eye to eye on critical examination and judgement of quality as well, but ultimately I think our mutual respect comes from an integral integrity with which we hold ourselves accountable to. I am interested in finding a space where I can put my integrity into practice. Yes, with my acting and career as a performer, but also with my relationships and how I choose to walk down my path as a human being and creator. Because here's the thing, we all are creators and everything is both original and derivative at the same time (says my wise and wonderful boyfriend, Jim). The question is, where do we put our focus? There is no right answer, and what feels good one moment may feel counter-productive the next! This difference, this sliding of scales that happens within us is what's truly human. We are not fixed beings and there is no great true answer that sticks forever, but the ever-present sliding of scales. Like music or waves they ebb and flow, just as we do...into the timelessness of eternity.

Eternal, that is such a beautiful word. I was lead to integrity. Integrity in what? Integrity in self and what you choose to spend your time on. Or rather, what I choose to invest my time in and on. Process, the act of creating. Brainstorming, laying there with eyes closed taking inventory of self and relating to breath. These are all tools to enlightenment. To knowing that there is one you and yet at the center of you is everything and that everything is everywhere for the asking and it is truth, it is truth, it is resonance, it is the great beyond, and it is right here/right now and cannot be contained though it can be ignored. Open up Open to. Open the door and switch on the light, it is there. All I ask of you is to enjoy the inhale. Enjoy the inhale as much as the other three parts of breath. I am beyond, and I am right here.