The Juliet Project: Journal Entry 11/23/14

I am struggling with wanting to keep this journal reserved for The Juliet Project, vs. opening it up to just use as any new journal for my morning pages. I really like the idea of having a place to come back to for reference on brainstorming and ideas, etc.

Today I am at the second day of the workshop I am taking through Bodytraffic with Sharon Eyal who just started a new company LEV and is performing at REDCAT this weekend. The first our of class was Ga Ga, which has been a very good experience for me. Today, a woman from her company lead class and she was WONDERFUL! It was a very sensual class with a lot of work from our "pika" (the space between your genitals and your asshole). We also did some very frenzied small steps and skipping which I had a resistance to at first, but when we started moving through the room I realized that by putting my focus out farther into the space in front of me and allowing the eating up of the distance to be my driving force it allowed me to be present and honest with the task at hand as opposed to getting lost in not knowing where to gather my impulse from. Sometimes drawing from within is not enough and then you must reach outward to find the "nothing" that the freedom of non-judgement and lack of censoring provides. 

I am home now and I am once again milling over the importance of creating a "company" to establish a platform vs. generating as much like a free floating artist as possible. I want to be a free flowing being - able to move here and there and everywhere. If there is a "company" of sorts I think it is important for it to be project based. Yet perhaps the "study" can be something more? In the way that Ga Ga has become a type of class perhaps what I am looking to develop outside of the project to project basis is a concept for opening oneself. Is it important to call people out on their bullshit? I don't know. Once "they" (artists) get to a certain place in their craft they seem to no longer want to be a student in any way, yet once you transcend to the space and realization that the primary focus is not the text, movement, or content...but is about something more - the experiential, the unseen, the atomic - well, we are all students in this.

It was interesting to talk with the women from LEV after today's workshop. They were seemingly very aware of "the divine" yet their vocabulary only hinted at its existence while their bodies and lack of content gave a clarity that was what they experienced. I wonder if they talk amongst each other about their individual spiritual journeys toward the truth of self. Or if it is an unsaid understanding that the work they do gets them closer and closer to Self with a capital "S" each time?

"You don't have the stomach to do what must be done" (says a boisterous voice in my head). Do I? I don't. Not now. Yet the more I say I don't the more I feel my strength rise. I don't have the strength to do what must be done, therefore I can commit to the minimal amount of effort to get where I need to go. Where I need to go right now is to generate enough research, content, know-how and team to create The Juliet Project. This is my focus. This is what "needs to get done" There is strength in this creation. There is clarity and truth that lies in the process of its creation. I am the creator and I must do what must be done.