I want to challenge my perceptions. I want synchronicity, yes, but I don't want to "coast". I always want to be feeling deeply and fully into the absence of time. You can think of this as thinking forward, being present, or moving through the past...but there is a place where they all align and that place is both nothing and everything and I have been there.
I know it is truth because I have felt it. I have been everywhere and nowhere all at once and this is what I am moving more and more into - this state of "beingness". It is the metamorphosis, it is the crest of the hill, the moment of suspension. It is brilliance. I can feel that I'm meant or called to resonate here in this upper vibration. I can also feel the tug of the lower resonance and the duality of these disparate tones. I don't think it right to dismiss the lower, but I do feel it right to balance out my experience of the two - to lean into the higher frequencies with as much trust and willingness as I do the deeper, darker sides of myself. But there is fear in this higher direction. Fear of the ego running away with itself. Fear of seeming "better than thou". How do we embrace our potential and light when others see it as a threat or reflection of their own limitations that they do not wish to face? It is not true, that is not what it is, I don't believe that's the end of the story. And yet, I feel guilty for bringing insecurities out in others. But what shall I do to comfort them but dim my own light? How is there a way to guide myself into more apparent empathy but to "come down" from my flight? Certainly there must be a way to not clip my own wings for the sake of connection. Or is it something in between? Something I cannot see yet? Where do I go to run with the wild horses? Is there an utopia such as this or am I delusional? I feel the pull of distant voices - alive or dead I know not, but they call. They call and they sing and they celebrate my return to them. Where it all fell apart in lives past - it now has the shining north star and suns rays simultaneously guiding my way to freedom and joy, everlasting life and breath. |
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